If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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