You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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