operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
