whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
