At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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