Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
