Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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