I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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