My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
