To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
