my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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