porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize