Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
