All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I love having hate sex.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I need mimosas to revive my soul
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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