hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
