You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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