somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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