PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
