porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
