There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
