Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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