first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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