Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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