I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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