I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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