How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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