New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize