I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
