dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
