My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
