I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
