Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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