I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
