I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
