she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
