you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
