grandma shit on top of the toilet
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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