well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
