Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
