I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize