How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
