is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
