My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
