i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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