He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
