Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
