I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
