That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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