i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
