Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
