Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my poor anus
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
