i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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