Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize