and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
