u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
