My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
