I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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