I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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