Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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